Post inspired by The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin
“The Obliger is the rock of the world. At work, at home, and in life, not only are Obligers the bigger groups, they’re the ones whom people count on the most.” (103)
In today’s topic under The Four Tendencies, ask yourself if you think these statements apply to you:
- “I put my patients/clients/research team/family ahead of myself.” (103)
- You make time for others but struggle with making time for yourself
- No problem meeting expectations set by others
- May struggle to say no to requests even if you have a heavy workload already
Obligers are the most populous Tendency out of all of them, so it may not be surprising if you fall into the category (statistically speaking). Obligers are those that meet outer expectations but struggle with meeting inner expectations. If you know someone that succeeds at work when they have tasks to do set out in front of them by their boss but that person can’t seem to hit the gym even though they want to, they are probably an Obliger. Obligers can sometimes struggle with saying “no” to others while also being okay with letting their personal commitments slide in place of other’s asks.
Obligers benefit most from external accountability. Whether that is a coach, an instructor, a friend, a spouse, or an app, external accountability helps Obligers change those inner expectations into outer expectations they can hold themselves accountable for. The external accountability can be as simple as disappointing your family if you don’t make it home for dinner (if you have a lot of work) or being charged a payment if you don’t make a fitness class; external accountability helps Obligers meet their inner goals while also balancing their external expectations.
Famous Questioners: Tiger Woods