Or Are You A Rebel?
"For Rebels, the ability to choose is so important that sometimes they make a choice--even when it's against their own self-interest or it's not what they prefer--just to reassure themselves that they can make that choice. (156)
In the last of the Four Tendencies under The Four Tendencies, ask yourself if you think these statements apply to you:
- "You think I can't business? Watch me." (157)
- You do better when there are no expectations
- Resist anything "perceived to be an attempt at control" (160)
- Peer pressure may have the opposite result on you
- Resist labels
Rebels are the smallest Tendency out of all of the Four Tendencies. Rebels resist both outer and inner expectations. When asking a Rebel to do something, the Rebel is very likely to resist whatever the ask or expectation is. When pushed further on it, the chances the Rebel does it goes down even more. Rebels want to do everything in their own time, and, if someone comes in and pushes them or puts an expectation on them, that may ruin the progress the Rebel has made.
Since Rebels resist both outer and inner expectations, the best thing you can do when working/living with a Rebel is frame the expectation as a choice for the Rebel to make. Provide all the facts and information but any pressure applied that sets an expectation will not work. Rebels need to feel like it is something they are in control of and that they decided. Rebels also respond well to challenges - if a Rebel wants to lose weight, it may be better to say "looks like you aren't going to the gym today" instead of asking "are you headed to the gym?" The second statement would most likely get a "no" and rebellion of not going to the gym because someone else is expecting them to go to the gym.
Famous Questioners: Chris Guillebeau (Author of The $100 Startup)
Post inspired by The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.